i wanna dig myself a grave right now..

listening to: neil young- unknown legend

it was not as worse as yesterday, so i'm gonna tell you what actually happened yesterday. i felt like digging a hole around somewhere and bury myself deep in. i'm in the process of quitting from smoking, (so i feel like dying) for one reason: i spend way too much for something that kills me haha. and then it pisses me off when i see those disgusting pictures they put on both sides of the box ( trust me it would not help people from quitting) but that picture of the baby is just foul, i mean thats the worst thing out of all the bad photoshoped images there. so, my classmates noticed how tormented my face was in class, they laughed. some were being a bitch, purposely smoking infront of me...

anyway i called me mom, and i missed her terribly. but we're going to spend this weekend with ann, whose gonna crash in our place after the wild night with ben and his friends...i miss those people especially ben and alken. i hope they dont think i'm super stuck up because i stay really quiet, its just the way i am...anyway ben and steven have awesome music taste like radiohead, the killers, arctic monkeys, the strokes, blur and more super awesome stuff ;)

me reflects chicken shit..

listening to: radiohead- lucky

it was so scary when i heard maisha bangin on the door because she looked as if she had just saw a ghost but she told me she encountered a botswana dude hitting a girl. we ran to check if she was okay (or alive still) and we saw the female sobbing and the dude whispering to her. we didnt say anything because we froze and i actually wanted to ask whether or not everything is okay but like always, i behaved like such a chicken shit and passed by like nothing was going on..what the heck! this reminded me of this afternoon where my classmate, thato, was discussing on how switzerland was a neutral country during the ww2. this was how the conversation flowed:

thato : swiss was neutral?
chicken shit: yeah..
thato : dude, thats so not cool..
chicken shit: why do you say that?
thato :how could you call yourself neutral. i mean its like Muhammad beating you up and
i would say ' hey,i'm neutral'.

thato was right, it was so uncool. i know swiss was trying to protect its own people but not lending a hand and simply allowing the sons of bitches gasing the entire population of jews was just selfish...i never understood the Nazis.

the holocaust

its just sick...anyway, lets think of something cheerful. i switched the playlist into The Corrs- silver strand. i love how they use violin and flute in their music, its pleasant to hear. my mind travels to ireland whenever i hear them play, i mean they are..irish. then my mind jump to leprachauns, green, mountains, giants, river dancing, frank mccourt, oxygen..

think of this place when you need to breathe or escape...

poor miley..

listening to: blue foundation- eyes on fire


three things that annoyed me today:

1. my hands got tangled around the curtain in the bus.

2.my lecturer didnt select the photographs that i liked.

3. the salon in school charged rm 40 just to do a little trimming...so i didnt do it duhh..

then i read an article on how miley cyrus got ticked off when Radiohead refused to meet her at the Grammies hahah thats funny :P well that made my day. i imagined if she was me and hell yeah i would be fuckin upset but on the other, if i was a brilliant musician in a genious of a band like radiohead, i woudnt want to meet hannah montana either. hahaha sorrry thats just a slap in the face :)

radiohead

i was really entertained reading this month's issue of cleo because you get all kinds of free stuff like a 20g satchet of nescafe 3 in 1 which is still in the dark space of my bag and also the ultra thin period pad? kiki wanted one...

the butterfly park experience

i was excited actually to visit the butterfly park in kl eventhough it was a school project and i hate school projects with my life. it was actually creepy to think about butterlies fying all over you but as you gave it time, it was actually pretty cool.
we went out early and arrived in kl central by taxi. i love kl central because i love to see tourists with backpacks. i mean these were real tourists who loved to travel, they have places to go and they travel by train, which i love :) there are 2 types of tourists: 1. business class
2.economic class
i dont really admire those business class travelers for 2 reasons:
1. they dont meet different types of travellers in their 1st class cacoon- because only rich tourists can afford this ticket. and in economic class, there are the average travellers and rich ones who prefers to travel in 2nd class because A. they like it, B. they're stingy, C. they feel it is not worth it to spend so much while travelling to the same destination.
2. they're really spoilt.
3.they always have they're laptops with them.
4. mostly on business trips.

i could stay in kl central forever to look at them :). so anyway, we arrived in the butterfly park later where we landed on this different planet where its green all over with strange looking creature flying all over you. have you seen the movie "the secret garden?" it kinda felt like that ya know, its nice. its like a small little secret place with a green garden surrounded by sky scrappers...

a typical sunday

listening to: sheryl crow- if it makes you happy

i woke up today morning with a burning feeling in my throat as if somebody scratched a coin on the wall of it. i felt really tired so then i passed out again at 2 pm with 70% of my upper body on the bed and the rest touching the floor, which was weird. it was so hot these days and i tend to sweat like nobody's business and i get annoyed really quickly and i want to punch the faces of the biggest culprits of global warming. it was an annoying day and there were only kiki and me sitting in the living room. there i dreamt of the rain, i wanted it to fall. i love the smell of it. but it only rained for a few minutes and then the sun started shining again.
it was a loud afternoon because there was this "person" who was banging on the door for several times until kiki and me wanted to look for that person and pull his/her hair. but at night, it was quiet and it was only me. kiki went to bed early ( she goes to bed early these days and i dont know the fuck why), maisha disappeared ( and i dont know the fuck why) and leyla locked herself in her room and bury herself in her assignments (typical her but we love you, leyla). i slide opened the balcony door and sat outside, staring into the dark jungle. i noticed there was somebody standing on the balcony next door because i could smell her cigarette smoke from where i was sitting. i refused to look who it was because she might think i'm a freak but i stole a glance anyway because i was curious. and yes she was a chick smoking her cigarette and i didnt know who she was. so i sat back on the chair and stared back at the jungle and hope i dont unexpectedly see a ghost in there. i hoped the chick was a guy so that we could actually start a conversation like in those movies where romance started so unexpectedly, a romance with a stanger? what the heck..
i noticed several things as i sat outside:
1. there was smoke coming out from the jungle.
2. many cars drived by beneath me.
3. there were no stars because of the blinding lights from the toll and buildings.
4. my cigarette burned fast.
5. the chick next door was gone.
6. there was no ramli burger.
7. only black people walked this road at night .